Why are the latter years of life called the “Golden Years?” The term surely doesn’t refer to monetary
wealth, for, although the current generation of “seasoned citizens,” as Rush
Limbaugh calls us, is undoubtedly more well off than any past generation of
seniors, relatively few of us could be called wealthy. Besides, “Golden Years” terminology
antedates this generation.
Even if we aren’t financially wealthy, most Golden Agers have
accumulated a wealth of experience as we’ve traveled life’s highways and
byways. While I wouldn’t describe all
my life’s experiences as golden, many of them have been valuable.
Gold can be lost or stolen; one’s wealth of experiences cannot. One needs no vaults in which to store that
wealth, no trustees to guard it, no records kept to evidence its existence –
and it can be shared without lessening the principal.
Perhaps the most golden earthly experiences are those shared with one’s
spouse. Arlette and I have been sharing
experiences ever since we met July 23, 1949 – and celebrate anniversaries of
that date equally with our wedding date, September 3, 1950.
Arlette and I thought we
should celebrate the 50th anniversary of the day we met in some
special way, so early in 1999 asked the kids if they would like to join us in
Brownwood, where it all started, on the weekend of July 23, 1999; after all, we
reasoned, none of the kids or grandkids would have existed had Arlette and I
not met. They agreed to come, so I made
reservations for rooms at the Gold Key Inn – it had a nice, big swimming pool,
an appropriate attraction for a midsummer event in Brownwood.
During the weeks before Arlette and I met the troops in Brownwood I prepared two cassette tapes for each of the three families. On one I narrated a description of life in
general, and Brownwood in particular, as it was in the ‘40s and early ‘50s, to
help the younger folks realize how things had changed over a half-century; I
also included on that cassette recordings of music that made the Hit Parade in
1949 and 1950. The second tape included
a narration of the story of how Arlette and I met, about the two neckties
involved in that meeting, and how one of those ties reached the Smithsonian
Institution; also included on that tape were two songs sung at our wedding and
two songs we had heard repeatedly on the juke box at B & B Steakhouse,
plus other songs that were popular during 1949 and 1950, the years we
dated. Following is part of the
material I taped for the kids and grandkids; some of it duplicates information
presented earlier in these writings, but I’ve left it in here to preserve
continuity:
OLD TIMES NOT FORGOTTEN
Text of
Cassette Tape Narrative
by
Ken Miller
4
Brookside Circle/Little Rock, Arkansas 72205
501/225-4260
Hi! I’m Ken Miller. What you have just heard at the start of this tape was an excerpt
from Bud Tutmarc’s recording of “Memories.”
Well, I’ve acquired lots of memories during my nearly 73 years of living
since 1926. On the rest of this tape
I’d like to delve into those memories and reminisce a bit, tell you a little
story from times long past, then play some songs that were popular when the
events related in that story were happening.
The talking takes about twelve minutes, so please bear with me.
The
reminiscenses about life back in the ’30s and ‘40s are primarily for the
benefit of the kids, who’ll soon see that life then was much different from
today.
Back then
only the rich had air-conditioned or centrally-heated homes. Most business buildings were not
air-conditioned. No one had an
air-conditioned automobile; even heaters were extra-cost options.
Except for
ice cream, there were no frozen foods; refrigerator freezers only made
ice. The word “Microwave” was unknown;
foods were heated on ranges, in ovens, or over open fires.
There were
no malls; people went “downtown” to shop, instead of “to the mall.”
Disposable
diapers had not been invented. There
were no wrinkle-free, permanent press clothes, nor automatic washers and dryers
in which to do the family laundry. Wet
laundry had to be line-dried, even if the line was outside and the weather was
so cold that everything freeze-dried.
Automatic
dishwashers for the home were unknown, so there were lots of ads about
dishwashing liquids that left one’s hands soft and smooth.
There were
no Interstate Highways; the limited-access super-highway system we enjoy today
was begun in the ‘50s. Before the
freeways were built, a drive from west Fort Worth to the east side of Dallas, a
trip of less than fifty miles, could, and often did, take hours.
Passenger
jetliners were still a decade away.
Space exploration and travel were only “Buck Jones” comic-book
fantasies.
All we had
in the way of recorded music until the late ‘40s, when 45 RPM vinyl records
came out, were the old 78 RPM pressed-wax records. Neither high fidelity nor stereophonic, those breakable 78s grew
scratchy and noisy with much playing.
The new 45s were of higher fidelity than the 78s, but even they were not
nearly as good as the long-playing, stereophonic, high fidelity 33 RPM vinyl
records which came along a little later.
Cassette tapes and CDs, were, of course, many years away.
FM radio
was a post-WWII innovation, and many FM stations went on the air in the ‘50s;
the earliest stations played only classical music, with few commercials.
However, as more people acquired FM receivers, stations began playing all types
of music, with accompanying commercials.
Multiplexing FM transmitters made it possible to broadcast the new 33
RPM records in high-fidelity stereo.
The first
television station in Texas was Fort Worth’s Channel 5, which went on the air
in the late ‘40s. Network shows could
not be broadcast live for the first few years, for there were no microwave
relay towers or satellites to carry the signals.
Semi-conductors
and solid state electronic technology had not been invented, so there were no
electronic calculators, CB radios, VCRs, or personal computers; the Internet
and its possibilities were decades away.
Ë
Now, lest
you get to feeling too sorry for us older folks because of our “deprived”
youth, let me assure you that we were quite happy, because we were unaware of
what we did not have.
There were
even some real advantages in that antiquated age. No one had yet discovered that the first amendment to the
constitution meant that God could not attend school with us, so we were taught
five Rs instead of only three - right and ‘rong, as well as reading, writing,
and ‘rithmetic; that helped with many kids whose parents did not take them to
church or teach them moral absolutes.
Nor had
anyone discovered that the first amendment meant that you should be free to
express anything you wanted to, any way you wanted to, wherever you wanted
to. Not knowing that, publishers of
books, newspapers, and mainline magazines omitted filth, profanity, and
obscenity; we read and enjoyed those publications, not caring that we were
being deprived of “true-to-life” materials.
Movies were free of bad language and
“R” or “X” rated situations; no entertainment rating system was needed,
for everything was “G.”
No one
used offensive materials on radio.
Television, after it became available in the late ‘40s, was clean for
many years.
Ë
Now that I
have provided you with some background, let me proceed with the story I really
started out to tell.
I call
this little story “Old Times Not Forgotten.”
It is definitely “G” rated, as are the songs that follow it, so sit
back, kick off your shoes, and relax; if you get bored, do it in comfort.
My story
begins July 23, 1949, with an event which was destined to change my life,
although I did not realize that when it happened.
I was in
Brownwood, Texas that Saturday afternoon, and had walked into the Penney’s
store downtown, intending to visit a couple of old college friends (Buryl
Whitaker and Jack Skinner) who worked there. I was
working out of the Fort Worth offices of Dun & Bradstreet, traveling over
much of West Texas, and often spent weekends in Brownwood. I had known Buryl since first entering
college in the fall of 1943, and had met Jack when we veterans returned from
military service after the end of World War II; while I was not the closest of
friends with either of the two, we were well-acquainted, and I often dropped
into Penney’s to visit with them and buy needed clothing.
I had
regularly purchased neckties there, so I stopped to look at a tie display near
the entrance. A clerk approached and
offered her assistance. She was young
and attractive, friendly and talkative, so we chatted while I made my
selection. I learned that her name was
Arlette Wilson, that her Dad was a man I remembered from his days at the
Matlock & Taylor barber shop nearby, and discovered that we had several
common acquaintances and interests. I
selected and paid for two ties, then moved on back to see Buryl and Jack.
Jack had
seen me talking with Arlette, and asked me if I didn’t think she was cute. My confirmation of his evaluation evoked his
suggestion that I ask her for a date. I
was reluctant to do that, since I had just met the girl, but he finally
convinced me that I should.
Emboldened
by his encouragement, I returned to the necktie counter and invited Arlette to
go out with me that evening. Although I
was unaware at the time of his doing so, Jack made my task and Arlette’s
decision easier by maneuvering himself to a position from which he could signal
affirmation of my good character to her with his circled thumb and
forefinger. His gesture of assurance
did the trick; Arlette accepted my invitation.
On that
first date we ate at the best restaurant in downtown Brownwood. Later in the evening I probably risked
undoing the good impression of the nice dinner, for she says that I sang “When
Day Is Done” for her as we drove out to Lake Brownwood; I don’t really remember
that part too well, but that song had long been one of my favorites - and
thirteen months later she had it sung at our wedding, along with another old
favorite, “Always.”
That was
the first of many dates, for we were soon going steady. Most dates started at the B & B
Steakhouse; after eating we often went bowling. At the B & B we each usually had only a large combination
salad and a glass of iced tea; that, and the bowling, probably explains why we
were both much thinner then than we are now.
The
jukebox at the B & B Steakhouse seemed to play constantly. The two songs played most often were “I’ve
Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” and Wayne Raney’s “Why Don’t You Haul Off and
Love Me?” The latter was a country song of the twangiest order.
Arlette
and I usually attended church together when I was in town. She was a member of First Baptist, but she
often went with me to Calvary Baptist, where I had been a member during the two
years after I returned to college from the Navy. However, when we made our marriage plans we decided to have the
ceremony in the prayer chapel of the First Methodist Church, for its smaller
size better fitted our requirements; we were married there on September 3,
1950.
Ë
Fifty
years have passed since Arlette and I first met, and much of Brownwood as we
knew it then is either gone or radically changed. A NationsBank building now stands where the downtown Penney’s store
was located. The B & B Steakhouse
is gone, supplanted by one of the numerous businesses and motels now lining
both sides of East Commerce (which is also the route of US Highways 67, 84, and
377). Riverside Park, along the west
bank of Pecan Bayou just north of 67/84/377, was then only a large pecan grove
with unpaved roads and trails. The
motels that line the highway today have been built since the ‘40s; back then
the Brownwood Hotel, located downtown and now vacant, was about the only public
accommodations facility in town.
The
bowling alley and adjoining businesses in the first block of West Adams, as
well as the old residences in the second block, are now gone, replaced by
parking lots. The Urban Smiths’ home,
at 200 W. Adams, where I roomed during my last two years of college, and where
I stayed on weekends when I was back in Brownwood, was among those demolished;
all were within two blocks of the post office.
The First Methodist Church building, where Arlette and I were married,
is gone, as are many stately old Center Avenue homes.
The First
Baptist Church is still about as it was.
The interior is very attractive, actually more attractive than I
remember it from “the old days;” I was a member there in 1944, before I entered
the Navy.
HOWARD PAYNE
COLLEGE has become HOWARD PAYNE UNIVERSITY; graduate programs have been added
since our student days. The campus is
much larger, and there are numerous buildings that were not there “back when.” Actually, only four of the buildings that
were there in the ‘40s are still standing; fire destroyed the picturesque “Old
Main” administration building some years ago, and other old buildings have been
replaced with larger, more functional facilities with modern conveniences.
Brownwood
High School, from which Arlette graduated a couple of months before we met, has
moved to the south end of town. The
house and neighborhood where she lived when we were dating are now run-down and
ramshackled.
Brownwood
Country Club occupies part of the old Camp Bowie military reservation. That
giant reservation, upon which eighty thousand soldiers were in training at the
height of World War II, has been returned to private use. (By the way, can you imagine a town of
twenty thousand civilians hosting a military reservation of eighty thousand
soldiers? During WWII downtown
Brownwood was a sea of khaki most evenings and every weekend.)
Ë
Well,
Brownwood has changed, and so have we, but the memories linger on. Music of that time is a part of those
memories, so I’ve selected songs from that era for this tape. The first four
are those mentioned above (“I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” and “Why Don’t
You Haul Off and Love Me?” from our B & B dates, plus “When Day Is Done”
and “Always” from our wedding ceremony); other songs that follow are HIT PARADE
numbers from the years 1949 and 1950, during which we met, dated, and married.
Oh! There’s one thing I forgot to tell you. One of those two ties I bought the day
Arlette and I met is in the Smithsonian Institution. Why and how it got there is another story for another tape, so
let’s get on with the music. “I’ve Got
a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” is from a TIME/LIFE “GOLDEN GOOFERS” CD, done by
Freddy Martin and His Orchestra. Wayne
Raney’s “Why Don’t You Haul Off and Love Me?” is the same old 78 RPM recording
we used to hear at the B & B. From
the ridiculous we move to the sublime with a 45 RPM recording of Perry Como
singing “When Day Is Done” and an instrumental performance of “Always” by Hill
Bowen and His Orchestra, from a READER’S DIGEST CD. Subsequent numbers are from TIME/LIFE’S 1949 and 1950 “YOUR HIT
PARADE” CDs.
Thanks for
listening to me; now let’s all listen to the music.
We took printouts of the narrations by the offices of The Brownwood Bulletin on Friday
morning of our big weekend, thinking that the novelty of the situation might
interest its editor in putting something in the paper about our
celebration. Gene Deason, managing editor, said he
would like to do the story, took the materials I provided, and suggested he
meet our group at the site of the old Penney’s store (where Arlette and
I first met) to take pictures to run with his writeup; he met us on Saturday
morning, took two rolls of photos, gave us one of the two, then went on his
way. One of his photos, and the
beginning of his writeup, appeared on the front page of Sunday’s paper (July
25, 1999); on the jump page, where the article was continued, he printed (1)
the first picture ever made of Arlette and me together (October 28, 1949) and
(2) a rerun of our September 3, 1950 wedding picture.
◊◊◊
Finding a way to haul our group (fourteen people) around town to see
our old “stomping grounds” was more of a problem than expected. We tried rental agencies and two car dealers
without success, and were growing discouraged until Mr. Bill Slaymaker, sales manager at
Brownwood Ford, after hearing my story, said he would loan us a 15-passenger
van from their used car lot. We picked
up the van on Saturday morning, kept our photo-taking appointment with Gene
Deason, then began our tour of
the city
Several of the buildings we would have liked to have shown everyone are
no longer in existence, so Arlette prepared sketches during weeks preceding the
event (all but one from memory) for the kids to view as we drove by the
locations where the structures once stood:
·
The Penney’s store where we met is gone, as is the
building in which it was housed; a Bank of America facility (successor to
NationsBank), in a new building, stands where Penney’s once was located.
·
The old “Barn” on the HPC campus (my
first college residence) and the house where I roomed (at 200 W. Adams) after
returning from the Navy are gone; a modern brick dormitory building replaced
the Barn, and 200 W. Adams is a parking lot.
·
B & B Steakhouse (where Arlette and I often ate when dating)
is no longer there; we have been unable to determine which present-day business
is on the old B & B property.
·
The site of the bowling alley we frequented is now a
parking lot.
·
The First Methodist Church building (in whose prayer chapel
we were married) is gone; a public utility building occupies its former
location.
·
The picturesque old HPC administration building was
destroyed by fire some years ago. The
Howard Payne campus is nothing like it was during the days of our
matriculation; only four buildings of those I remember are still standing.
A few places were little changed
(e.g., the house where Arlette lived while we were dating was still there; the
old Brownwood High School building still stands, but as a junior high school;
Coggin Avenue Baptist Church and Coggin Park were about as I remembered them), but some
of the old streets around them are rougher and overhung by untrimmed trees.
◊◊◊
We spent only two or three hours boring the kids
with old sights and stories (after all, I’d made tapes for them to listen to if
they were really interested). Following
our tour and a late lunch back at the motel, some of the bunch went jet-skiing
at Lake Brownwood, several spent time in the motel pool, and I played
basketball with Marty, Travis, and Drew late Saturday afternoon.
We all headed home Sunday; Arlette and I left early
enough to reach Dublin by church time.
I don’t know what the kids and grandkids thought about the weekend, but
Arlette and I had a memorable time. One
just as memorable, however, was less than fourteen months away.
Arlette and I wanted to commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the day we married in some special way,
but decided a typical reception wasn’t practical, for our oldest friends live
substantial distances away and our circle of Little Rock acquaintances has
dwindled, changing three times in twenty years:
·
We lost contact, for the most part, with work acquaintances
after retiring in 1982.
·
We left Calvary Baptist Church in 1987 (after having
attended there more than 23 years) to help start a new church, Pinnacle
Baptist, and gradually lost contact with Calvary folks.
·
We lost contact with Pinnacle folks who left after its
merger with Immanuel in 1995.
·
Our group of acquaintances at Geyer Springs, where we’d
attended only two years, was small.
Even though our
ever-diminishing circle of close acquaintances made a big reception seem
illogical, we weren’t averse to another get-together such as the one we had
enjoyed the previous summer when celebrating the 50th anniversary of
the day we met. The kids suggested they
take us out to eat on Saturday evening, then attend church with us on Sunday,
the actual date of our anniversary.
That sounded great to me; I could ask for nothing better than
celebrating our golden wedding anniversary with kids and grandkids – those
who are the essence of our mutual experiences and our legacy to the
future.
Even though we preferred no
formal observance, we wanted to send announcements of the milestone to friends
and relatives. I composed an
announcement, with significant input from Arlette and Terry; Terry took the
composition, acquired appropriate card stock, and designed a very attractive
mailout. The text of the announcement
was as follows:
Sunday, September 3, 2000 will mark the completion
of fifty years of marriage and our joint walk through life.
We desire no formal observance of that Golden
Anniversary, nor any gifts.
We do request that you join us in thanking our Lord
for His blessings over the years. While
material provisions have been important, His best gifts are our children,
grandchildren, relatives and friends in Arkansas, Texas, and all across this
land.
We also thank each of you for being a part of the
Lord’s blessings in our lives.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits.
Psalm 103:2
Terry addressed and mailed
the announcements, using an address list I had prepared. We didn’t discover the reason she wanted to
address and mail them until our anniversary weekend; she was planning a
surprise, although things were set up to look like a routine family
get-together.
◊◊◊
Marty and his family drove
up from Irving on Friday, September 1.
Vicky flew in that evening (Larry couldn’t come because of the threat
from forest fires to their home in Park City).
Travis and Drew came to Little Rock Saturday morning; Terry and Gregg
stayed behind to prepare for the evening’s family get-together at Murry’s in
Hazen.
Arlette and Vicky took
Marty’s three youngest (Jeffrey/Alyssa/Kristen) to “The Train Station,” (a
place designed for kids) on Saturday afternoon, while Marty, Travis, Drew, and
I played basketball (in 100+
temperature, at the basketball court under I-630 at Kanis Park).
◊◊◊
We were all scheduled to join
Terry and Gregg at Murry’s (nearly an
hour’s drive away) at six o’clock. We
were a little late in getting away from Little Rock, so arrived at Murry’s
about five minutes late. Arlette and I
received the shock of our lives when we walked into a room filled with a gang of relatives and old friends (surreptitiously
invited by the kids, as a surprise for us) gathered there to greet us and
participate in the dinner party. Twila
described the gathering as follows:
“Now
for the main event! In spite of
sweltering, record-breaking temperatures, you Miller kids pulled off a big
one! Seems as if Hugh and I were the
only non-surprise-causing guests.
Mother had let something slip which had given Ken a clue that we might
be there. By six about 30 of us were
gathered in the dining room of Murry’s, east of LR on the south side of HWY 70
and almost in the middle of a rice paddy.
Soon Arlette, Ken, Vicky, Marty and family arrived and were greeted by
the group – a niece of Arlette’s and her family from Spring Branch TX; two
couples from LR; a couple from Quitman TX (he’d been our next door neighbor in
Fort Worth years ago); two single friends of Arlette’s from LR; Physina’s
parents; and, of course, Terry, Gregg, Travis and Drew, and the two of us.
“Terry and
helpers had done a super job decorating the tables. One had a collection of pictures from earlier years; an easel
held a framed montage of articles from their wedding day – keys which had
belonged to our Papa Grammer, to whom the getaway vehicle had belonged before
his death in 1942; Ken’s tie and handkerchief; Arlette’s pearls and white NT
given to her by her YWA group, etc.
Very attractive. On another
table was a cream colored small wedding cake, and the inside of it was
delicious Italian crème cake, much much better than the usual white cake at
weddings. Flowers were on the tables,
but a pretty arrangement of roses and other flowers was on the cake table. Terry had fixed a mixture of pecans and
broken bacon bits which were in boxes tied in gold and placed on each
table. I’d never eaten anything quite
like it, but it’s delicious. Wish I had
some right now! I fear it’s NOT low
calorie!
“Marty,
Vicky, and Terry and Gregg provided the program for the entertainment of the
evening, and it was all fun. We were so
glad we were able to be a part of the evening.
The next morning, Hugh and I went to SS at 8:30, as Ken and Arlette were
hosting their SS class to doughnuts and coffee to continue celebrating, and it
was a friendly bunch. For the worship
service, 20 plus of us filled a couple of pews, then we filled K and A’s house
as we gathered for the final event for us, a buffet luncheon. I enjoyed getting to visit with everyone,
but especially the second generation from us.
Stephen, Kristen, Alyssa, Jeff, Travis, and Drew, you are blessings and
are to be commended. We’re proud of
you, and I know Ken and Arlette are even more so!”
Twila left out Leona Gill Sherrod
(from Angleton) in the above account, because Leona hadn’t yet signed the
register of “family and friends who shared the time with us” when Twila
obtained the list of people attending.
Leona was Arlette’s best friend in high school, and was the bridesmaid
at our wedding. She not only was at the
dinner party, but was also among the group attending church and eating with our
gathered family the next day; she stayed in Little Rock until Tuesday, so she
could visit more with Arlette.
Everyone except Leona and
Vicky left Little Rock by late Sunday afternoon. Their staying longer was good, for Arlette undoubtedly needed
someone to help her “wind down” from the weekend’s excitement.
◊◊◊
I designed and mailed (1) a
“thank-you” note (similar to that printed below) to the kids for putting on the
big weekend for us and (2) a comparable note to all who contributed to the big
event – those who attended the surprise dinner party and those who sent cards
and information for the “Book of Memories.”
Neither was in color or as fancy as the announcement Terry mailed out,
but I trust it conveyed our appreciation for everything done. Our 50th anniversary celebration
couldn’t have been better.
GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
THANKS
¤ ¤ ¤
We want to thank
you for helping make our 50th anniversary weekend the most memorable
of our married lives.
We enjoyed
everything – kids and families here, basketball, the surprise dinner party on
Saturday night, then the gang of family and friends who attended church with us
and spent Sunday afternoon at our house.
We appreciate all
the time and trouble you went to in preparing everything. The dinner party was a complete surprise –
and far more enjoyable than a reception on Sunday afternoon could possibly have
been.
¤ ¤ ¤